Termination of Relationships

It has come time to end several relationships in my life...

1st, I will be saying good by to Cheez-it's. I love you, you're great, but you're not really right for me anymore.  As great as that taste is, the stomach aftermath, not so much. Honestly, you're clogging my arteries. We had a great few year run, you made gold fish taste mediocre. But, you've got to go. So as of 1/1/11, good bye. 

2nd, This is a tough one, you surprised me time and time again, but Genesee Cream Ale, you're time is over. You were great to have around once a year or so, but now that I have you in my fridge, I just want you gone. I'll give you till the end of the year to make your case, but I doubt you will. Goodbye to the 7 and a half year relationship.

BOOBS

rock

Why Hoboken is NOT "like the 6th Borough"

1. It's located in New Jersey

2. The MTA does not service Hoboken

3. Yellow cabs can refuse to take you to Hoboken because it's not one of the 5 Boroughs. If it were, then the yellow cab would Have to take you there.

4. see # 1

on a side note, Brooklyn & Queens are both located on Long Island. So if you are from there, you are also from Long Island, sorry.

MTA SUCKS BALLS

It really sucks that the MTA workers can "strike" and drive the MTA in to debt, but if the people who actually ride the MTA were to say "fuck you," and not ride the train for several days +, it'd just drive up the cost of a ride that much quicker. Fuck you MTA workers, fuck you. And also, the strike led to a shit ton of layoffs, good call assholes. Good call.

Further, it's great that the guys working on the tracks that are not in service spend half there time waiting for a train to get to where they need to work. Stellar planning, stellar.

So in 4 years since the strike, we now have less train service, fewer workers that barely make more than before. Who didn't get fucked but those with more years in the Union?

FU, FU

Clothing Sizes

Girls I'm sure will go crazy over the bs they have to deal with, but when a one gap 34" belt is an inch longer than another 34" inch gap belt, i'd say something is up. Guys sizes are in inches, how is it possible for one 15.5 neck to be bigger than a 16.5 neck size? How the heal are 34" size jeans smaller than 33" jeans. What the fuck is going on in the clothing industry? Yeah, Small, Medium, Large, i can semi understand screwing that up across the board, but if you have a "size chart" link on a website, you should probably make sure that the sizing is actually accurate. like measure it, then write down the right size. Guys clothing is measured in inches. I can't, I just can't even come up with a rationalization to the damn things not measuring out correctly. Forget the "shrinkage" factor, that doesn't explain things before they are washed even once. ugh

Sorry you & I don't know what you were charged for, but it's non-refundable

found 2 bogus charges on my bank account today. One vendor couldn't even tell me what the charge was for and referred me to another customer service phone number. Then that person could only tell me but that it was "some" free trial I supposedly signed up for when I placed a separate online order(I didn't buy anything online that week) and it was non-refundable. 3 Customer Service representative's and lot's of yelling/cursing later and threats of Better Business Bureau & Bank action against there company and they were able to miraculously cut through the red tape and refund me. Woosa.

Things you should have learned by age 26

1. How to use a microwave

2. How to work the tv/dvd player

3. How to e-mail

4. How to send a package

5. How to make a hot dog

6. How to cut vegetables

7. That foil does not go in the microwave

8. That plastic does not go in the toaster oven

9. To cover food you put in the microwave

10. Chew with mouth closed

11. Not to talk with food in your mouth

12. Not to take someone's food

13. Turn off lights when your not in the room

14. If you didn't buy it, it's clearly not yours. ie. food. If you want it, either ask or have it and then replace it.

15. Clean up after yourself

16. say excuse me when you burp

17. Say bless you or something of the like when someone sneezes

18. When you ask a question, actually listen to the answer

19. Knock before entering someone's room if the door is closed

20. To shut the fuck up at the movie theater

21. When in public, set your phone to vibrate

22. Not to talk on the phone at a restaurant

23. indoor voices

24. What to and not to put in the dishwasher

25. When you take something out, put it away

26. If you have a question, ask google first

27. If your never talk to someone, don't complain you weren't invited

28. If you are offended by any of the above, then learn the above, then you won't be offended and we won't be annoyed

29. how to ride a bike

30. if you're going to be late, text or call the person you were supposed to meet

31. calling or texting after the time you were supposed to be there does not satisfy the above

32. cursing is part of life, deal with it

33. If there is a garbage chute in your building, the garbage goes in the chute, not on the ground in front of it

34. Paper products do not get recycled in the plastic/glass bin

35. Plastic/glass products do not go in the paper bin

36. recyclables go in a bin, not in a pile

37. There is this thing called google, refer to it if you don't know how to do something. ie. what is recyclable

38. If you did something wrong, fess up, don't play ignorant

39. If you lie and get caught, don't try to keep the lie up, just admit it. you're insulting our intelligence and making the situation worse.

40. If you borrowed a movie, return it, all we want is the movie back, that's all that matters

41. Please & thank you, learn them, know them, use them. Often.